Walmart: The Demons Within

We've all experienced it. Walk into Walmart, and you are bombarded with millions
of tiny little midgets terrorizing the store. The cashiers & managers are 
tied up and gagged and the toy aisle has just been expanded across 14 aisles. 
All the while, the mothers of these little minions continue their shopping with 
a random distant reprimand which does no good. Each time I come across this, I 
wished Walmart hosted a low-cost spay & neuter clinic.



Where did all these children come from? Do they live at the store, and their 
parents come to take part of their visitation rights? Or does Walmart truly sell
 everything, and has an ever roaming "Child Aisle"? No matter what time of day 
 or night you go, they swarm from all the racks of clothing, they call home, 
 like miniature Rambos hunting down the enemy.



There I was, driving down the main aisle, pushing the infamous wobbly cart with 
a piece of gum stuck on the wheel. I could hear the maniacal laughter in the 
distance. Passing the Barbie clothing rack. Passing the Batman clothing rack. 
Out of no where one of these mythological beasts jumps out its cave, a rack 
holding up the latest Spongebob gear. I slam on my brakes, stopping only a mere 
few inches from the minion's snarling face. I was so close I could see all that 
was left of his baby teeth. I didn't know what to do. Do I flee? Do I run it 
over? What if it has rabies? I could almost hear its mind working, but I guess 
I proved to be a worthless prey. He merely looked at me, then ran screaming 
towards the nearest crib section.



I knew I had to get out of here fast. Grab my purchases and run, but damn my 
eyes. They forced my body to freeze at every item that caught their attention. 
My arms were in a frenzy tossing items into my cart. I knew they were traps set 
out by the little demons, like Sirens luring ships toward their doom.



I make it through, and am nearing the exit. The blue vest of a disgruntled 
employee standing behind the registers beckons me to safety. Argh! Stupid piece 
of gum. Unhand yourself from my wheel! I can feel the breezes behind me as the 
children run past me continuing in their chaos. Five minutes and six eyerolls 
from the cashier later, I am walking out the door. I pass another unsuspecting 
couple entering.



"Beware..." I said.



They looked at me oddly, and continued in.



I guess they'll have to find out themselves.
Gamer Girl

Renaissance Girl

Creative Girl

Walmart: The Demons Within

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